Saturday, 21 August 2010

My Life "Before and After Islam"

Assalamu Alaikum Brothers and sisters of Islam!

I was seating in my home-made couch and try to open the book my husband gave me as a gift before our wedding which entitled: "DON'T BE SAD" by Dr. A'id al-Qarni. This is one of the best gifts I received from him (may ALLAH be good to him). As I was running my hands through the pages of the book looking for some marks that I made the first time I read it, my eyes was caught by this passage: "IF YOU HAVE FOUND HIM (ALLAH), THEN YOU HAVE FOUND EVERYTHING. AND IF YOU LOSE FAITH IN HIM (ALLAH), THEN YOU HAVE LOST EVERYTHING." I am rereading this book for three of four times again and again but still it seems that the passages always have some miracle touch in my inner soul that makes me stop for a while and reflect to what it did in my present life after becoming a Muslim.
I was born in a family of Pastors from a Pentecostal Church of Christ. My father and all my uncles were holding leadership positions in our family church and we grew up very familiar with stories in the Bible. In fact, I was teaching young kids before in our Sunday School Service when I was about Ten years old. But things have change when I grew up. My uncles were always having a new understanding towards the Bible and it created a big question in me how and why should we always have to change the way we worship if we are already in truth? Then I started to ask questions to my father (May ALLAH forgive him) and my uncles who were then church leaders but they don't have an explanation about it that satisfies me. So I drifted off and became inactive in the church activities. I started to become rebellious and try to find answers by myself. Things have gotten me always into trouble. I became a master of my own game. I run away from home, got myself into the army and started a life full of evils and mischief. I had been in the world with no good at all. I never pray for years and not gone to church at all. I keep on doing things I thought was the key to my happiness but it only lead me to live a double life. Until Islam brought a light in my soul (thanks to the grace of ALLAH) for He chooses me to become a believer. I cried so much and ask will ever God forgive me? I was the wickedest of all the people I know and that make me so depressed and unhappy. Then I started to learn about Islam.

I have seen and came to know a lot of Muslims before but they were not able to convince me. I keep on seeing things they were doing and saying exactly opposite of what I have read from the books with verses of the Holy Qur-an. I convince by the teachings but I was not convince by the Muslims and I keep on arguing with them about it for I am a person who cannot help myself to find reasons for everything said and done. Until God give me a big blow and turn everything in its proper place. I accepted Islam with a full conviction. Since then the happiness that seems to be impossible to achieve is now living within me. I find respect, peace, fulfilment, contentment, love and affection which I never imagine I will ever taste in this world. It dropped my pride and ego to its absolute zero degree. I learn to listen to other's opinion. But most of all, I learn how to pray and restore my faith to the God Almighty Who made all these things possible. All thanks be to ALLAH and glorify His Name to the Highest! Ameen.


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